Gratefulness

There is a scene from a baseball movie I don't remember the title of where a young girl and someone else (maybe her father) are looking at the stars and talking about whether and why they know there is a God and it's explained that when you get that feeling of gratitude looking at something so beautiful that you know there is a God because if you're thankful, you must be thankful TO somebody... From an early age, I remember being taught to show gratitude. When we would open our birthday or Christmas presents, we needed to say thank you because a gift was not really about whether you wanted it or not. If someone got you something you particularly desired, that was an extra bonus, but we had to say thank you nomatter what we got because the gift was about the fact that someone cared enough for us to think about us and get us something they thought or hoped we would like. (And just like in life, some of the best gifts are things that aren't on our wishlists...) Recently, though, I have become acutely aware that not everybody was brought up in the same way as my sisters and me. There are a lot of people in my life with a lot of needs- both material and emotional and I have found that in trying to play a positive role in their lives and counteract that need with "gifts" both financial/material and emotional that I am not always or even often met with the sense of gratitude I would expect. Granted, I realize I should not do things just to be "thanked" but I must say I also don't do nice things to feel criticized. So, this whole idea of giving and gratefulness has been on my mind a lot lately and I'm unsure what to think or how to feel. On one hand, I know everyone has a right to react however they want to anything I do and it's usually more a reflection on them than me, etc. However, does God want me to keep getting "beat up" over giving because I don't "give" the right thing? In Juan Carlos's family, you see, it is very different than in mine. It is not enough to get new clothes for all of Dani's 12 cousins at Christmas, but we have to be careful about where we get them and what brand they are if we don't want to be criticized by the recipients as being "cheap" and "thoughtless" We have known families that don't have silverware or tupperware but when my mother has offered to share hers, Juan Carlos has told me they would be offended to receive something "used." On the one hand, I know it must be a "special treat" to get something "name brand" or "brand new" especially if it is not a common occurence, but on the other, it is upsetting to me that people would be so proud as to refuse the help someone can give because it's not the "perfect" help they expect. Ultimately, though, I guess that regardless of what I think or what I do, I cannot change anyone else- only myself. So, I am left with questions like, "Do I give what I can knowing it might come back as criticism that it wasn't the right "kind" of gift?" "Do I just stop giving altogether?" "Do I give only what I KNOW will be appreciated?" "Do I need to be appreciated or can I just give and let whatever consequences come from it happen as they may?" I like to think that being a grateful person, rather than being proud and critical, has its own rewards. Essentially, I think gratefulness is the ability to recognize the blessings in our lives- the things we did nothing to "deserve" but that are there for us nonetheless. For myself, I think that being able to look at each and every gift - material, physical, emotional or spiritual and feel thanks for it would certainly bring more joy into my heart and into my life. So, for today, right now, my prayer will be that I can recognize all the things I have to be grateful for and remember to say thanks for them. I will pray for the strength to do this amidst others who may not. My aunt posted a thought on facebook that has stayed with me for awhile now, "What if tomorrow you woke up with only the things you thanked God for today?" A beautiful reminder of how each and every one of us really does have so much to be thankful for if we just take the time to reflect on it for a moment.