A new gift

Well, I have been away again for quite awhile. It's hard to even remember where August and September have gone. August flew by with entertaining chaperones and summer groups at work and enjoying a couple more barbeques before the end of summer. Juan Carlos, Jaime (Juan Carlos's cousin) and I all took a road trip to CA towards the end of August to visit Jaime's sister and her family and that was a great time. It was really a bonding experience for Juan Carlos and I to take time away. The family lives on this huge vineyard where Jaime's brother-in-law works, and it was so neat to just be out in the middle of nowhere.

Juan Carlos was thrilled to be out on a ranch where he could do some firing practice, and he got a little over ambitious and killed a rabbit, which I was not impressed with at the time, but he felt really guilty, so I didn't hold a grudge. And we ate the rabbit, so it felt a little more justified. We woke up to roosters crowing every morning and enjoyed all the different animals and grapes around us. It really reinforced our dream to live on a farm of our own someday.

Then came September.

On September 11th, 2008, a year ago, I found out I was pregnant with our little Angelica.

On September 12th, 2009, one year later, I found out I was pregnant with our second precious child.

Of course I cried and Juan Carlos cried when I told him. We were happy the first time of course, but after so much waiting and praying and wanting, this time was a joy just overflowing with gratefulness. I was and am so incredibly grateful for another chance to be parents. Every day when I wake up, I thank God for another day with this new child. I know there are so many people who would give anything just to get that postive pregnancy test and I feel so thankful just for that- such a simple, miraculous moment and each new day that God gives us.

It's a strange time right now- the doctors won't see me until I'm 8-9 weeks along, so I have no evidence everything is ok- I can't hear the heartbeat or see the baby for myself. I am closer to my baby than I'll ever be yet I have less evidence of how he or she is doing than I probably ever will... I can't help but think of the thousands of women over the years and through the world who didn't or don't have any fancy technology to reassure them- who only have their faith in God to get them from one day to the next. I try to think of them and I try not to worry... though lately it's been especially hard. I'm still so grateful, but I feel myself getting attached and getting scared to lose this baby too. Only the size of a blueberry and yet this tiny person has already captured my heart and I can only pray for the gift of being able to hold a healthy, living baby in my arms in May.

Please join me in this prayer. Please pray for peace for our family during this time of much excitement and yet much anxiety... I don't want to worry- I just want to love, but it's hard not to be afraid sometimes... Thank you for all your love and support. It means so much!