It would have been hard to imagine the first year we were married that I could ever feel this close to Juan Carlos or love him this much. Don't get me wrong- I loved him for sure- there are few other things that would compel a person to make a lifelong committment as profound as marriage out of their free will... but recently, I've just been blown away by his care and concern. His example makes me want to try harder and be better too and now I understand what this sacrament is supposed to be for people.
Even though he comes from a culture where it is not particularly "macho" to clean the house or make dinner, we agreed that since we both worked outside the home, we would both work inside the home as well. It wasn't always this way, but now he does more than his fair share. He takes care of the yard- even getting up early on his weekends to mow the lawn. He's also been helping to make or just making dinner on nights when I have to teach class in the evenings or just come home not feeling well.
I took a group of Latino students to a conference on Friday and Saturday and came home very late (12:30am) on Saturday night. I expected to find the house a mess since I knew Juan Carlos had friends over, with beer bottles and plates and ceviche remnants everywhere, but I was pleasantly surprised to see the kitchen was immaculate when I walked in.
When I went to the bedroom, it looked cleaner than when I had left and when I walked into the bathroom, I realized he had cleaned it all too. That alone was enough to make me want to cry in my state, but that wasn't all. He told me he had taken on another job on Sunday morning so he could make some money to take me out to dinner. And so, after staying up late Saturday night drinking with his brother and cousins, he got up early on Sunday morning and went to work.
And Sunday evening he took me out to dinner. All week I have been trying to mail a letter to my sister for her birthday and I ran out of stamps and haven't had a moment to even run and get some. He knew it was on my mind. So after dinner, while I took him mom home, he stopped at the store and got me stamps. It was so incredibly thoughtful and made me feel so loved.
Such seemingly small, seemingly unimportant things that make a world of difference for a relationship. It's not easy to be responsible or loving sometimes- a person would rather sit down on the couch and relax after work than cut up meat and vegetables and start cooking something. Most people would rather sleep in on a Saturday morning than go to work or work in the yard... but making the hard choice, doing the undesirable, responsible, loving thing instead brings you into such a deeper intimacy with the people you love. And that, in the end, really is worth it.
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