Love is Enough

I've said before that I feel like I am not asking that much of God and I don't understand why at least some prayers cannot be answered with a "yes"

Tonight, Juan Carlos and I were talking about how stupid and blind we as people are sometimes. We fall into the trap of never having enough. If we make $10/hour, we want $12, $12 we want $15. We want more money, more cars, more rights, more privileges, more opportunities, more children, better jobs, nicer houses... all so we can be "satisfied" - all of which will never satisfy us.

I know this in a logical way but I still disappoint myself constantly by falling into the same trap time and time again- comparing myself and wanting more and more...
It's good to have dreams and aspirations- I think God has put the desire to always improve our lives and our situations on our hearts for a reason, but I think we miss the "how" of the matter much of the time.

I think we forget that happiness is always with us- in the small things- in the people in our lives right now, not in people of the past or people we may have with us someday. We think that bettering our lives is the accumulation of our own wealth and false sense of security, rather than the betterment of society as a whole- we don't realize that competing with others or trying to "keep up" with others is keeping us farther from happiness than anything else.

My new aspiration? To be someone that people love to be around because I help them to feel good about themselves instead of finding people to be around who make me feel good about me. To be someone that brings more love and light into this world rather than more competition and selfishness. When I have negative thoughts about my body or the cards I've been dealt, I'll make sure I thank God twice instead because for all the things I would change, there sure are a lot of things I wouldn't.

Juan Carlos reminded me that some people are praying right now that they will have something to eat tomorrow. Not that they will eat something they like, that tastes good- just that they will eat something. There are people right now who eat tortillas with salt every day- EVERY DAY...not even beans or cheeze or salsa for some variation. Others are desperate for companionship or for better health.

Even if some of my dreams never come true, there are many that already have. I would never change my parents, my sisters or my husband for anything in the world. I have known love- what a beautiful, precious reality- what an incredible gift.

I heard a speaker at my university once say, "sometimes we wonder about our vocations... but ultimately we all have the same calling- the same calling as Christ- to pour ourselves out in love for others. That's all we really need to know."

Sometimes I don't think I have the strength I need to love like Christ, but then I think about the alternative- to struggle through life with the goals of the world as my aspiration and I think that, for me, trying to love- even if I struggle desperately along the way, is really the only logical option. Love is enough- it has to be enough, because it's clear that nothing else will ever be enough to satisfy...