I feel overwhelmed right now, in a good way, with the future and all the possibilities out there. There have been a couple job postings lately that have lifted my spirits and, even though they are not all the best in terms of timing, at least they remind me of things to look forward to... There are several jobs up at Pierce, where I used to work. I applied to a position of Intensive English Program Manager. They want someone to start in April, which probably would not work, but we might be able to work something out if they want me...
Then, there are two full time tenure track teaching positions open, which would be incredible- ESL and ESL and Developmental Reading...
Finally, there is a part-time ESL instructor opening and a part-time Spanish instructor opening so there's also hope of piecing some things together there... it's quite risky to leave a full time job with benefits for a couple adjunct positions though, so we'll see... It's just amazing to think of the extra time I would have as a full-time instructor and all the stress I wouldn't have compared to now.... it would be so ideal as we start growing our family....
Juan Carlos and I also have a meeting tonight to talk about a restaurant one of JC's friends is selling and that could be incredible. Of course, we don't want to jump into anything but it would be an amazing opportunity.
Plus, I've been delving more into the world of online teaching and thinking of all the possibilities to do that here and internationally... I'm not sure where to get started but I feel like I'm putting pieces in place to be able to step into an opportunity if it comes along.
I feel like between job prospects and baby coming in less than 3 months, my mind is spinning with what the future holds for us, but this is an incredibly exciting time and I am just trying to treasure the anticipation of it all.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
What's up baby? and other highlights of Hypnobirthing
So, my mom and I have been taking a childbirth class together for the past month or so. It is 4 Saturdays from 9-1:00. (My mom is doing it with me because Juan Carlos, though he wants to be there, is unsure how he's going to feel and react to the whole thing so he didn't really want a "job", he doesn't really like classes (go figure that he's married to a teacher) and the English would probably be a little overwhelming, so my awesome Mom has stepped up to the plate and offered to learn this with me and be my "coach."
The class is a "hypnobirthing" class. Most of the women in it see midwives and are planning to give birth at home- the majority are planning water births. From what I can tell, pretty much everyone is planning on/hoping for no medication. The technique is meant to make use of the body's natural endorphins and "painkillers" and help women to "comfortably" give birth (which a lot of people have a hard time imagining). It's been really interesting. I have a lot of reflections on the class in general, but some of the highlights are:
1) The class is all about focusing on the "perfect scenario" and not dwelling on everything that could go wrong... Because of the mind-body connection, it's thought that focusing on a positive outcome will make it a lot more likely- this has been hard but SO good for me, as I have a tendency to think "worst case scenario"
2) Another important piece is training your body to relax. I feel much more aware of my body now and when I am and am not relaxed. I think it's really healthy for me to "practice" relaxing. I do it to prepare for childbirth but it is probably helping me to have a much healthier pregnancy now, especially in times that might otherwise be very stressful. There is a lot of emphasis on "trusting your body and your baby" to do what they need to do, which also translates for me into trusting God and the way that He made me and our baby with the intention of life.
3) Developing a relationship with the baby is also really emphasized. It's completely acknowledged that babies are fully human and incredibly intelligent and that regular communication with our babies can nurture the relationship and help them feel loved from early on. One of my favorite lines from the class was when the instructor was talking about this and said, "Sometimes, you just need to ask, "what's up baby?" I can't even remember what it was in reference to, but at the time, it struck me as being hilarious.
4) The other element that stands out is the vocabulary used. Instead of "contractions" we talk about "surges" Instead of "pushing" we talk about "breathing the baby down" I'm sure it seems silly to some people but language can be so powerful and this is just another reminder...
The book for the class talks a lot about the effects of culture and the effects of perception of childbirth and what it has been and should be on the actual experience for many people. It talks about the way that fear affects the actual pain people experience or difficulties in childbirth and why. Most convincing of all, though, has probably been the many films we've seen in class of actual births using the techniques we're learning and how peaceful, healthy, joyful, and incredible they have seemed...
As in any class, there are some great things and other things my mom and I have chosen to dismiss or de-emphasize. I still have not made a hard and fast decision about medication, how soon to clamp the umbilical cord, and a variety of other things, but the class has certainly changed my perspective on childbirth and I feel a lot more confident and even excited about it than I did before. If anyone is thinking of it or wants to know more, I am really happy to share.
Please keep my cousin in your prayers as I'm pretty sure she is in labor now, unless plans have changed (she was going to be induced this morning). And happy birthing to all you many pregnant moms- there certainly are a lot of babies planning to be born soon!
The class is a "hypnobirthing" class. Most of the women in it see midwives and are planning to give birth at home- the majority are planning water births. From what I can tell, pretty much everyone is planning on/hoping for no medication. The technique is meant to make use of the body's natural endorphins and "painkillers" and help women to "comfortably" give birth (which a lot of people have a hard time imagining). It's been really interesting. I have a lot of reflections on the class in general, but some of the highlights are:
1) The class is all about focusing on the "perfect scenario" and not dwelling on everything that could go wrong... Because of the mind-body connection, it's thought that focusing on a positive outcome will make it a lot more likely- this has been hard but SO good for me, as I have a tendency to think "worst case scenario"
2) Another important piece is training your body to relax. I feel much more aware of my body now and when I am and am not relaxed. I think it's really healthy for me to "practice" relaxing. I do it to prepare for childbirth but it is probably helping me to have a much healthier pregnancy now, especially in times that might otherwise be very stressful. There is a lot of emphasis on "trusting your body and your baby" to do what they need to do, which also translates for me into trusting God and the way that He made me and our baby with the intention of life.
3) Developing a relationship with the baby is also really emphasized. It's completely acknowledged that babies are fully human and incredibly intelligent and that regular communication with our babies can nurture the relationship and help them feel loved from early on. One of my favorite lines from the class was when the instructor was talking about this and said, "Sometimes, you just need to ask, "what's up baby?" I can't even remember what it was in reference to, but at the time, it struck me as being hilarious.
4) The other element that stands out is the vocabulary used. Instead of "contractions" we talk about "surges" Instead of "pushing" we talk about "breathing the baby down" I'm sure it seems silly to some people but language can be so powerful and this is just another reminder...
The book for the class talks a lot about the effects of culture and the effects of perception of childbirth and what it has been and should be on the actual experience for many people. It talks about the way that fear affects the actual pain people experience or difficulties in childbirth and why. Most convincing of all, though, has probably been the many films we've seen in class of actual births using the techniques we're learning and how peaceful, healthy, joyful, and incredible they have seemed...
As in any class, there are some great things and other things my mom and I have chosen to dismiss or de-emphasize. I still have not made a hard and fast decision about medication, how soon to clamp the umbilical cord, and a variety of other things, but the class has certainly changed my perspective on childbirth and I feel a lot more confident and even excited about it than I did before. If anyone is thinking of it or wants to know more, I am really happy to share.
Please keep my cousin in your prayers as I'm pretty sure she is in labor now, unless plans have changed (she was going to be induced this morning). And happy birthing to all you many pregnant moms- there certainly are a lot of babies planning to be born soon!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Our Daughter's Name
So, until now, I have been avoiding sharing the name we've pretty much been set on for our daughter because the first couple times I shared it, I was not impressed with people's responses and I didn't want other people's opinions to start tainting our decision... but now, with just a couple months left to go, I'd really like to share our daughter's name and why we chose it... I'll trust you to be sensitive about any comments you leave...
First, I have to say that finding a name that works in Spanish and English is a little challenging- names that seem outdated to us might be "modern" for my husband's family and so forth.
Also, some of you may remember that Juan Carlos and I bought a Yukon Denali a couple years ago (which turned out to be stolen and subsequently we lost $11,000) but ever since then, it was kind of a joke that Juan Carlos would name his daughter Denali after the truck...
I had always loved the name Daniella, after my dad, and because I loved the nickname "Dani" but Juan Carlos kept bringing up "Denali" as a name he really seriously loved. We looked up the meaning: "superior woman" and then he liked it even more, so, although we did not name her after a truck or the mountain in Alaska, Juan Carlos and I compromised on "Danali" so I could still call her "Dani" for short.
I really wanted a lot of things for her middle name- I wanted there to be an association with a saint (preferably Anne, because I had done a novena to Saint Anne to pray for another child) and I wanted it to have an important meaning and be "after" someone in the family. I considered Annemarie after my mom and Carlos's mom but the meaning wasn't what I wanted... I searched and searched and then I searched by meaning. I thought this baby is an answer to our prayers so I searched for "God answered" and I found the name "Eliana." It seemed perfect.
So, needless to say, our daughter's name is Danali Eliana Garcia Martinez (or you can call her "Dani" for short like me) ; )
First, I have to say that finding a name that works in Spanish and English is a little challenging- names that seem outdated to us might be "modern" for my husband's family and so forth.
Also, some of you may remember that Juan Carlos and I bought a Yukon Denali a couple years ago (which turned out to be stolen and subsequently we lost $11,000) but ever since then, it was kind of a joke that Juan Carlos would name his daughter Denali after the truck...
I had always loved the name Daniella, after my dad, and because I loved the nickname "Dani" but Juan Carlos kept bringing up "Denali" as a name he really seriously loved. We looked up the meaning: "superior woman" and then he liked it even more, so, although we did not name her after a truck or the mountain in Alaska, Juan Carlos and I compromised on "Danali" so I could still call her "Dani" for short.
I really wanted a lot of things for her middle name- I wanted there to be an association with a saint (preferably Anne, because I had done a novena to Saint Anne to pray for another child) and I wanted it to have an important meaning and be "after" someone in the family. I considered Annemarie after my mom and Carlos's mom but the meaning wasn't what I wanted... I searched and searched and then I searched by meaning. I thought this baby is an answer to our prayers so I searched for "God answered" and I found the name "Eliana." It seemed perfect.
So, needless to say, our daughter's name is Danali Eliana Garcia Martinez (or you can call her "Dani" for short like me) ; )
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A poem
I started crying early in my office this morning as I wrote this poem. I guess I have been more hurt than I would ever care to acknowledge. I so want to be the image of this "female professional" I have in my head- persevering, determined, strong, unaffected, unwavering, un-needy.
Yet, I find myself more like a small child sometimes longing for a hug, wanting to know "everything will be ok" needing encouragement, nourishment, praise...
My family has never neglected me in this sense and for that, I am eternally grateful.
However, my 40 hour plus weeks at work have taken a bit of a toll- maybe more than I realized... I never really write poetry, though ideas come to me sometimes...since this one actually got written down, I just thought I'd share it.
A poem dedicated to all those that have ever been told they can’t or that their best effort wasn’t enough.
May we all be the teachers and mentors for others that we would long to have ourselves…
Clipped Wings
I came to you young and fresh, full of life
eager to learn
impatient to fly
I would do anything – I wanted to try
You heard me and saw me and let out a sigh…
You clipped my wings short and I tried not to cry
“Into the cage, little bird!” you said-
“It’s not your time. The light is still red.”
One day I was yanked from the cage and thrown out
Naïve as to what it would be all about
With no one to help me or teach me to fly, I raised my small wings
and I jumped
And I dived…
Still hurt from my fall, I heard you return,
But you’d not come to help
There were “lessons” to learn
“Dumb little bird! What makes you think you can fly?”
You clipped my wings shorter as a part of me died…
“You should have asked questions if you didn’t know how.
You’re a stupid little bird- back to the cage now!”
I tried very hard to be content in the cage
and pretend it was comfortable, as if I were on stage
But I wasn’t acting- this was my real life-
I made plans to escape, but they wouldn’t suffice…
Years later, you asked me why I never flew
The cage… the clipped wings- you already knew…
I came to you as a small baby bird,
with passion and promise and ideas not yet heard
You call yourself “teacher”
They think you are “wise”
Only the birds here can see your disguise
For true teachers know how to help others to learn
Your harsh words and scolding serve only to burn
True teachers know how to help those that try
And wise people know that caged birds cannot fly
Yet, I find myself more like a small child sometimes longing for a hug, wanting to know "everything will be ok" needing encouragement, nourishment, praise...
My family has never neglected me in this sense and for that, I am eternally grateful.
However, my 40 hour plus weeks at work have taken a bit of a toll- maybe more than I realized... I never really write poetry, though ideas come to me sometimes...since this one actually got written down, I just thought I'd share it.
A poem dedicated to all those that have ever been told they can’t or that their best effort wasn’t enough.
May we all be the teachers and mentors for others that we would long to have ourselves…
Clipped Wings
I came to you young and fresh, full of life
eager to learn
impatient to fly
I would do anything – I wanted to try
You heard me and saw me and let out a sigh…
You clipped my wings short and I tried not to cry
“Into the cage, little bird!” you said-
“It’s not your time. The light is still red.”
One day I was yanked from the cage and thrown out
Naïve as to what it would be all about
With no one to help me or teach me to fly, I raised my small wings
and I jumped
And I dived…
Still hurt from my fall, I heard you return,
But you’d not come to help
There were “lessons” to learn
“Dumb little bird! What makes you think you can fly?”
You clipped my wings shorter as a part of me died…
“You should have asked questions if you didn’t know how.
You’re a stupid little bird- back to the cage now!”
I tried very hard to be content in the cage
and pretend it was comfortable, as if I were on stage
But I wasn’t acting- this was my real life-
I made plans to escape, but they wouldn’t suffice…
Years later, you asked me why I never flew
The cage… the clipped wings- you already knew…
I came to you as a small baby bird,
with passion and promise and ideas not yet heard
You call yourself “teacher”
They think you are “wise”
Only the birds here can see your disguise
For true teachers know how to help others to learn
Your harsh words and scolding serve only to burn
True teachers know how to help those that try
And wise people know that caged birds cannot fly
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
25 week picture (2 weeks late!)
Here is the 25 week picture I promised 2 weeks ago!! So sorry! Now I'll need to post a new one!
Since I was so late, I'll throw in another one just for fun. This is how I found Juan Carlos when I came back from my Hypnobirthing class last Saturday... apparently the fact that it's pink is no deterrent when it comes to borrowing my snuggie...
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