Dabbling

So, recently, my dad has gotten pretty excited about the investment and income potential in the world of real estate and he's gotten me starting to look into it as well, which has consequently gotten me doing a lot of thinking and reflecting.

You see, I have always tended toward the side of life that attempts to give no importance to money- of course it's necessary but I have tended to look at it more as a necessary evil than anything else. I tried to make up my mind to be happy regardless of what money I did or didn't have rather than aspire to earn more. Maybe that was what seemed "right" or maybe that was what seemed "easier" It's hard to be sure. Dabbling in the investment world, talking about pay days of $1000 or more (sometimes a lot more) seems both crazy and is challenging my previous intuitions about how "chasing" money can lead us away from true fulfillment.

In my "dabbling" though, I have seen some consistent messages come through about how happy and fulfilled these "rich" people really seem to be and how driven they are and in touch with their "purpose" they are.

It kind of makes me want to scrap the fluff novels we're reading in 91 and instead read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" or "Success Principles" or something that may actually make a big difference in these students' lives.

Which brings me to what's really on my mind- my life's purpose. I have always struggled to find it- I don't have many obvious talents and I don't have many people in my life gifted at pointing out subtle things I may do well (nor am I good at seeing my own strengths) so "life's purpose" has gotten put on the back burner while other priorities have taken over in the front. But, honestly, it's not working so well- it's harder- a lot harder- for someone like me to take the daily ups and downs in stride when I don't have something bigger driving me.

I feel like I've lost touch with the prayer, the reflection, the perspective and the patience that used to keep me more centered. Instead I'm scattered, flustered, frustrated and oftentimes just really confused- ready to move on to the "next step" but not sure what it is and why I'm taking it.

That being said, I'd like to record a few reflections I have managed to find time for:

The vocations I believe I've been called to:
Mother
Wife
Teacher

Interests and Passions:

Different cultures/languages
Different ways of living and experiencing God
The resilience of people
Ways people get through the hard stuff
Social justice
Faith

Some of my beliefs:

I want to be someone who people miss because they love having me in their lives.
We love people who help us to love ourselves and bring out the best in us.

So, do I know my life's purpose yet? Have I reconciled the idea of pursuing more financial freedom and security with the whole concept of trusting God will provide? Maybe not completely, but I'm getting there. Stay tuned...