Fathers and Daughters

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." ~Joseph Addison


Watching my husband with our beautiful daughter has made me start to think about my own relationship with my dad in a new light. Fathers and daughters have such a wonderfully pure and special relationship, however it may have played out over the years...

I never considered myself a "Daddy's girl" like some of my friends did. I never felt like I had my dad wrapped around my finger. My father was never the really jealous or protective type either- he never threatened my boyfriends or scolded me about the way I dressed (but I'm sure that's because I didn't give him a reason to...)

My relationship with my father has changed a lot over the years- I look back at pictures and realize when I was small, I was often with my father- playing, doing exercises, sleeping on his chest, putting barettes in his hair, dancing with him- I wish I could recall all of those special moments.

As I got older, I related mostly to my dad through soccer- he was my coach for several years and we grew together in the game. We would "get pumped up" to Gloria Estefan music in the car before practices and games. He would teach me to visualize crossing the ball towards the center or shooting that perfect goal. I remember all the upbeat songs we would sing together on car rides to soccer tournaments or games out of town. I also remember loving this one song on the CD (anything for you...) but it was romantic- sometimes I was embarassed to sing it in front of my dad I guess because I wasn't sure if he would think it was strange I was moving from being a "little girl" to a "young woman" interested in romance...

I still remember one day when my dad took me out to breakfast when I was a teenager. He took me out to tell me how special I was to him- how being the oldest, I will always have a very special place in his heart and how much he loves me. It brought me to tears, though I tried not to cry in front of him. Thinking about my dad often made me want to cry throughout my teen years and I'm not totally sure why. I think it's because I felt I loved him so much but couldn't find how to relate to him- I wasn't sure if he would understand me or if he really wanted to know about my "boy dramas" and "girl issues" I would tend to share much more with my mom. I remember a father's day card that said something like, "Dad, thanks for always leaving the room so mom and I could talk" and that's how it seemed to be in our family a lot of the time, though it made me a little sad to wonder how my father felt about that...

Songs like "Butterfly kisses" and others that spoke to the father/daughter relationship always have and continue to make me cry- what is it that is so delicate and so precious about that relationship that brings on such a wave of emotion? There is something about being cherished by your father, about knowing how hard it is sometimes for him to watch you grow up and to let you go...

I started to get a lot closer to my dad after starting college. It seemed like there were more and more things to relate to him about and to get his advice on. And even more after I started working. He has continued to "coach" me in so many ways and though we may not agree on everything, I always value his perspective. I think he is an incredibly strong and wise man. He has made countless sacrifices and gone through many difficult things to get to where he is today and I hope he can look back and be proud. It's a beautiful thing when parents can pass important lessons on to their children so we can grow into our full potential.

These are some things I have learned from him by his words and more often, by his example:

1) You are not perfect. It's ok to make mistakes but always, always try to learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

2) When people criticize you or your work, don't just write them off. Be honest with yourself- analyze what they're saying- take what's valuable and true and improve yourself and your work based on that and then let the rest go.

3) It's more important to be a good team player than to be the star.

4) Do things because you enjoy them, not out of obligation or fear.

5) Sometimes we don't do things for ourselves- we do them because other people need us to.

6) Give from your blessings. Be generous.

7) Be a person of faith. Pray. Depend on God. Faith gets you through hard times, gives you hope, gives you something to believe in and live for.

8) Make family a priority. Be responsible and work hard but always make time for family.

9) Set goals and always try to improve yourself and your circumstances. Stay positive and keep moving forward.

10) Be compassionate- listen to others and hear them out- be slow to judge. Love people for who they are and where they're at.


There are so many more things but those happened to stand out today. I hope and pray that Juan Carlos can be as good of an example for Dani as my father has been for me. I know their relationship will be unique, and yet, something about it will be shared among all the fathers and daughters across the world.

Here are a couple quotations I found and liked and wanted to dedicate to a few amazing friends of mine whose fathers have recently moved to heaven... your fathers may not be physically with you any longer but the love they've cultivated in you and the lessons they've taught you remain and continue to bless those around you in countless ways.

"Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance." -- Ruth E. Renkel

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." -- Clarence Budington Kelland

"Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever." ~Author Unknown

"Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes." ~Gloria Naylor

"There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself." ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994