I know I should always be grateful, even for the hard stuff, but lately, it has been exceptionally easy to be grateful and I just wanted to record this "high" time of my life. I have absolutely LOVED being on maternity leave. It has been such an incredible blessing to have this special time with our precious daughter and only the most minimal stress and things to worry about. The first couple weeks were quite a haze- we enjoyed visitors coming to meet Danali when she was "brand new" and tried to learn how to change diapers, give baths, and comfort her.
Weeks 3-6 were marked by a bit of fussiness on Dani's part but also a lot of lazy mornings sleeping in together and catching up with friends over the lunch hour. We ventured out shopping a couple times and over to a friend's house for some play dates. We worried about Dani having colic and took her in at 4 weeks, we dealt with a first diaper rash and tried some techniques from "happiest baby on the block" to get her to stop fussing. We showered her with "besos" and lots of love. By 4 weeks, she was 10 lbs 1 oz.
Her 6th week, I went back to teaching part time in the mornings as a sub for another teacher. I've only been doing a couple hours a day- the schedule has been totally ideal. It was a hard decision to start working again so soon, but the money is good for the time I have to put in and I thought it would probably help me start transitioning back into having a schedule and obligations outside the home. Juan Carlos hasn't been working so he has been having special quality time with Dani in the mornings while I'm at work. I think it's been good for them and good for me too.
In spite of getting little sleep (I haven't slept more than 4 hours in a row in almost two months) and having wavering emotions in becoming a new parent, I am the happiest I can ever remember being in my life. Dani and I are finally kind of getting into a rhythm where I feel like I can understand her more and predict what she'll need- a nap, a meal, some play time, etc. She's starting to smile at us, which is so rewarding and I still get to spend the vast majority of my day with her (and recently with Juan Carlos too). The great weather this past week just makes me crave barbeques and milkshakes and makes me all the happier.
The only sad part is that I am now starting to think about going back to work and in recent conversations with coworkers, it sounds like it's worse than ever. I am dreading being given projects that are already falling apart on my return and being blamed if I can't turn them around. I dread being heavily criticized all the time and feeling so bad about myself again.
However, I am hopeful about a solution for work this next year, which would be so wonderful if it works out. Please keep me in your prayers that God will help things fall into place for me to have a more rewarding, less stressful work experience and provide the opportunity for me to spend a little more time at home with Dani. I know there will be hard times to come but I'm really trying to take in this "up" time and hoping the sun will stay out for awhile more...
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