So, last night I caught a couple minutes of Dr. Phil's interview with the octuplets' mother. I don't really keep up with the current news too much and I'm especially out of the loop when it comes to these kinds of stories, but JC filled me in a little so I could follow the interview.
I will preface this by saying most people who know me consider me a pessimist to some extent. I remember a conversation in the car when I was in high school. My sister said, "optimists live longer" and I replied quite honestly, "but they are more disappointed when they die" It seems morbid to some, and I have done a lot of self- reflection and tried hard over the years to change my pessimistic attitude towards things, but I still find a natural gravity towards the "negative".
One part of the interview struck me, as Dr. Phil criticized the mother for having a very "Polyanna" type attitude towards the whole prospect of raising 14 children on her own, saying she wasn't being realistic enough. It was the first time I've ever heard someone criticized for, in essence, being too positive. And I realized that as much as pessimism is not seen as being a desirable trait in many circumstances, it does have its place in grounding us in reality sometimes.
I've also been reading some things lately about how women who are "overachievers" or who are very driven find it very difficult when it comes to getting pregnant and being pregnant because they have controlled so many things up until then and pregnancy is something that can be so out of one's control, in spite of birth control and technological advances which might lead us to think otherwise.
There is a strange gap I've been grappling with between things we can and responsibly should work for and towards and things we should give up control over and let God deal with. Having free will is complicated that way. I feel it would be irresponsible to just stop working and expect God (or the government) to "take care of me" but it's also unreasonable to constantly job search or take up a couple extra jobs and become a "workaholic" just to cover my bases in case the economy takes another dive and I lose my job.
I'm inspired by Polyanna (and others like her) in many ways, and I have been actively trying to find the things in my life to be thankful for and happy about, but I'm also relieved to realize that my "negativity" has a place as well, in keeping me grounded and helping me to face "reality" sometimes... It's a delicate balance trying to strive both for hope and trust in God and yet "take things into my own hands" at the same time... hence the simple, yet ever resounding theme of "work and pray" Perhaps it's not in the mastering of this balance but in the striving for it that we find peace and holiness.
2 comments:
Perhaps it's not so much pessimism as it is REALISM? When I first moved to Europe, I was endlessly frustrated by what I perceived as pessimism from all sides. Instead of the good 'ol "you can do anything you put your mind to", it was "you can do anything you put your mind to under x, y and z conditions". I soon came to really appreciate this approach ... and am now convinced that a general dose of realism would do us all a bit of good!
Yes, and of course, since I generally see things from my own perspective, I would consider myself "realistic" and not "pessimistic" It's just that others around me may see me as more "pessimistic" I guess. Overall, I guess my realization was just that our greatest strengths are also often our greatest weaknesses- that few characteristics are completely "wrong" or "bad" but rather have positive and negative aspects... interesting about European perspectives you've encountered- I also have thought a lot about this and how influential "conditions" actually are in what we're able to achieve- in this world anyway. Thanks for writing! Hope you're well!
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